There is hardly such a thing as a relationship that is ‘easy’ to maintain. Relationships by their very nature have ups and downs and are constantly in a state of flux. When one partner in the relationship is happy, the other is ready to walk out. Very few relationships go for any time with both partners totally happy. All our new relationships start with hopes and dreams, but often, we see couples in relationships that turn sour.
Is there anything we men can do to keep a relationship strong and happy?
Here is a list of common mistakes that men make. Try and avoid them and perhaps your relationship will keep on an even keel:
o Keep investing in your relationship. Invest in it every day and every night. It will pay off.
o Share the housework, It’s not just for women. You can learn how to do laundry, vacuum the house and wash the dishes if you haven't learned in the past.
o Don’t think that everything is about you, because of you and for you. Don’t be selfish in a relationship.
o Stop and listen to your partner's ideas even if you don't believe in them.
o Your partner is not your mother and is not responsible to help you remember what it takes to keep harmony and peace in your relationship.
o Never storm out of an argument without an agreement to come back later to patch things up and make sure there will be another day.
o Don’t deride your partner’s family members. They come in the package with her and they are there to stay. It doesn't mean you can't voice an opinion occasionally, but don’t keep harping on it.
o Take your time in bed with her to allow her to grab a piece of heaven. Men want quick affection, sex, and security with a woman. After that we want space and relaxed distance. Women want space and relaxed distance. Only after that do they want affection and sex. Make sure she gets full satisfaction before you turn over and go to sleep.
o Learn to be emotionally available. Women aren't asking you to stop being a man, but talk about who you are, where you came from, tell your past history and future dreams. If this is hard for you, seek help from a therapist or join a group. Counseling can be hard for men. It is traditionally based on talking and sharing, activities more conducive for women. But there are male counselors out there and you don't have to go to just anyone. Choose someone who you feel comfortable with. Going to counseling is not a sign of weakness. Not going is more of a sign of weakness, because you are avoiding the real problems.
There are other mistakes that men should avoid:
o Never tell your partner that she has put on weight. Even if you think it makes her sexier, keep quiet. Most women are fighting against extra pounds - they are dieting, taking pills, and working out to look good for you.
o Don't complain to her for spending the whole day and loads of money in a beauty parlor. For girls a new hairstyle or fresh manicure symbolizes a new life. Remember that she’s trying to look good for you.
o Never criticize her cooking skills, even in the most delicate way and never, but never, tell her how your mom used to cook it. Your mom has nothing to do with your relationship.
o Never praise another woman's looks when your girlfriend is around. Your girlfriend is concerned only about her own body.
o Take your girlfriend to a soccer, hockey, golf, etc. tournament at your own risk. She will either be bored to tears and ruin your fun, or she will get to enjoy the sport and in no time know more about it than you do. This will deprive you of one of men’s great pleasures.
o Try and avoid conflicts. This means stay away from senseless or silly arguments. We are all different. That's what makes each one of us special. Listen to your partner’s point of view and try and understand where it’s coming from and where it’s headed.
o Don’t blame your partner for your own shortcomings. You aren’t perfect either. No one is.
o Don’t duck responsibility, its part of the deal.
In conclusion - If you have the ability and the methods and tools to keep your relationship alive and well, you don't need any advice but if not, you should avoid these mistakes.
